Bad News for Koster's CAFOs

As described earlier on this blog, Chris Koster likes factory farms (a/k/a CAFOs). He likes them so much that he wants to prevent local people from having a voice in where they can locate their sewage lagoons and generate their stink. If you would prefer to avoid pig feces and urine next door, you definitely do not want Chris Koster to be in charge of our environmental laws.

Blog CCP put up a great post on Monday about a CAFO that is trying to argue that it can put 4800 pigs about 400 yards away from a soldier's front door. "He's not there now, anyhow," the factory farm argues. Disgusting people pushing a disgusting farm. Koster's work on behalf of CAFOs has been focused on preventing local communities from having a voice in allowing corporate pig farms, so that small towns cannot fight back to save the home of their local soldier. That's the sort of crowd that Koster is running with. Sound like Democrats to you?

This morning's paper brings more attention to Koster's CAFOs. The first paragraph gives just a whiff of the stench that Koster wants to inflict on Missouri's small towns:

Industrial farms where animals are kept tightly confined present a serious and growing threat to humans, animals and the environment, a private commission reported Tuesday.

The article goes on to point out the dangers in the antibiotics and waste products of these pig factories.

Ironically, the conclusion reached by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health is the exact opposite of what Chris Koster wants to impose. Where Koster has been trying to rob local communities of the right to interfere with corporate pig farms to locate wherever they want (such as next door to a soldier's home), the bipartisan commission says that local control is better than state control.

Would a real Democrat support corporate pig farms?

Cordish Complaining?

I was shocked that Cordish, the TIF Pig behind the KC Live district, has the gall to complain about festival licenses being issued to other districts in the city to allow outdoor drinking. They claim they were "promised" that the city wouldn't allow such competition.

Were those promises made in the same meetings when Cordish promised to have the district ready in the Fall of '07?

Just wondering . . .

Bottoms Up! Put the Top Down! - Jackson County Legislature Keeps its Privileges

Theresa Garza Ruiz represents the best of the Jackson County legislature. So it came as no surprise that she came up with a workable solution to the awkward and unfair system of "first come, first served" ballot filing for County positions. Our current system, where candidates are made to wait outside the courthouse or obtain early access through favoritism, is simply an embarrassment. Rather than cursing the darkness of insider politics, Garza Ruiz lit a candle of fairness and proposed a lottery system for first-day filers, similar to the one that has been working effectively at the state level.

Garza Ruiz's common-sense solution got rejected 7-2 by a County Legislature that refuses to surrender its insider perks for the good of the County.

This may be a little thing, but tt's the little things that show character. Garza Ruiz showed that she is working for the improvement of the County. The 7 who voted against her showed that they are in it for themselves.

There will be a future round of elections for those 7 legislators, and I am quite confident that they will eagerly use their insider access to gain themselves the fruits of the system they have protected from improvement.

I propose that those of us who reject their ugly system of privilege launch a campaign to encourage voters to punish them by rejecting those at the top of the ballot. Perhaps the slogan could be "Bottoms Up!" or "Put the Top Down!", and it could foster the sort of anti-incumbent fever we need to rid our legislature of the self-serving seven.

p.s.s. and no one stares at me there

A few days ago, I wrote about Hardcasual, a gaming blog created by my son and his friend. Already, his friend, Chris Plante, a local kid from Lee's Summit now living in New York, has been picked up by a professional site and has a weekly column called Why We Play at GameSetWatch.

The kid is getting paid to blog. Obviously, I could learn a thing or two . . .

Chris' column this week is something special. He writes about a girl with Spinal Muscular Atrophy upset about the closure of her favorite site, Virtual Magic Kingdom. She wrote

"My favorite web site, Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK) is closing May 21st. I’m sad and MAD! I can’t live without my friends on VMK. PLEASE sign my guestbook like a petition to SAVE VMK for me and my friends. Pass my site on to everyone you know so they can help too. I love VMK cause I can WALK, TALK, EAT, DANCE, SHOP and play checkers all by myself.

PLEASE HELP ME!

Love,
Madison
p.s. VMK is GERM FREE too!
p.s.s. and no one stares at me there.

As readers of this and other local blogs might have guessed, this heartfelt cry from a vulnerable person provoked a firestorm of ugly, hateful comments. Chris uses this awfulness as a point of departure to discuss more generally his own experience growing up with a cleft palate, and how the world of gaming offered a place where he was able to escape a world of staring kids and insensitive adults.

It's thought-provoking stuff. Maybe even relevant for some of us who are wrestling with the ugliness of what we create and host.

Two Hospital Visits, 48 Years Apart

48 years ago today, my mother made a visit to a hospital and I was born. She was 32 years old, and I was the 5th out of what would become 6. She was married to a kind man, and had a world full of family, friends and church.

Today, she's back in the hospital, wrinkled, shrunken, and dying. Her husband is a memory almost two decades old, and most of the friends she had are gone. Her children are mostly scattered.

On Monday, she checked into the hospital with severe dehydration brought on by nausea following radiation treatments to relieve pain from bone cancer which had metastasized from breast cancer diagnosed in mid-February. Her kidneys have now shut down, she has developed fluid around her heart and lungs, her adrenal gland is suspect and she has pneumonia. On Thursday, she told me she thought she would be ready to go home and live alone again in a few days. Earlier today, her heart became so irregular that they called my sister to be with her at 3 in the morning, because it appeared she may be dying.

She was born in 1928, a second generation Polack on the north side of St. Louis. She married young, partially to leave a difficult home environment, and she married a handsome veteran of WWII with a sharp intellect, quick wit and gentle kindness. She was social, beautiful and perhaps a little headstrong. Their marriage, at least as it appeared to a child growing up in the small, packed house, was quietly happy - I don't think I ever heard angry words between the two of them.

Her husband, my father, had a massive stroke in 1982 that left him paralyzed and robbed him of his speech, and she was left to care for him until he died in 1990. After that, she kind of blossomed - she took over his seat on the Board of Aldermen in Beverly Hills, Missouri, and became the City Clerk. A yellow dog Democrat, she got involved in the background of County and municipal politics in St. Louis, and traveled with her sister to Ireland, Canada and Hawaii.

A few years ago, the politics turned nasty, and she left our home and bought a small townhouse in O'Fallon, a contemporary suburb of look-alike homes and chain restaurants in strip malls.

She grew up in a world of radio and her father worked on the railroad. She spoke of walking down to the corner bar and bringing her father locally-brewed beer in a pail. She loved to rollerskate and bowl. She hosted card parties and tupperware parties and "kidnap" breakfasts, where the ladies of the parish would show fill their cars with unsuspecting neighbors and "force" them to come over and have breakfast.

She is wired differently than I am or anyone else I know - with an absolute sense of wrong and hardheaded willingness to bear a grudge for years. One daughter-in-law she loves now spent a decade in the doghouse for daring to move to the town her son was living in. She did not attend the wedding of one of her daughters, or even let me know that it had happened, because the groom was a divorced man. Another sister removed herself from the family as a result of clashes with my mother. To this day, she is unable or unwilling to fully accept a granddaughter who went through a difficult period years ago. I do not understand her emotions or the depth of her antipathies, but I've learned to step aside from the full force of her anger. Her personality hearkens back to the an age of blood feuds and intergenerational battles. We, her children, joke that we will find a marked up list among her belongings after she is gone that will reflect her final ranking of her children.

Sometime soon, perhaps today, perhaps 2 weeks from now, almost certainly within a couple months, she will cease her struggles and her only presence on earth will be in the memory of those of us who knew her. When I started this blog almost 5 years ago, I wrote my first post about her and ended it with

Sometimes I feel like such a bad son. I never visit, and my irregular calls are usually multi-tasked with TV or some amusement. We have not really ever been close. But, Friday night, I thought she was beginning the death process. Now I know I have a limited time with her - maybe enough time to change our relationship.

That relationship has changed for the better, and I'm glad of it, though I failed in many respects. I wish my children had known their grandmother better. I wish I had visited more often. I wish I had learned more about her early life, and shared my life with her more freely.

This is not a happy birthday. The woman who created my life is losing her own. She's alert and lucid, and beginning to realize that she's not going to survive. She's not caught up in fear, but she's not unafraid, either. Similarly, I want her to live, but I'm tired of watching her suffer with tubes and monitors all around her.

I'm 48 years old today, and I know I need to say "goodbye" to my mom. And "thank you" - for everything.

Literally everything.

Don't Take My Word For It - Come And See the AG Candidates for Yourself

Here's a rare opportunity - indeed, probably a unique opportunity on this side of the state of Missouri. On May 22, the Committee for County Progress is hosting a debate for all four Democratic candidates in the Missouri Attorney General Primary. You are invited. You will be welcomed. The doors will open at White Recital Hall in the UMKC Performing Arts Center at 5:30, and the debate will start at 6:00. There will even be a free reception afterward.

I know I've been pretty direct in my assessment of the candidates - Harris is the only one with the Democratic values combined with high-level Attorney General experience, and deserves to win the primary election and the general election. If you're content to take my word for it, then go ahead and do something else on May 22nd, but, if you want to form your own opinion, show up at UMKC.

Here are a few ways to figure out if you're in the right place. If you see Chris Koster there, talking about being a prosecutor, and avoiding all mention of his time working for a criminal Republican in the AG's office, you're in the right place. If you see Margaret Donnelly there, with her campaign staff telling her that Kansas City is St. Louis' western most suburb, you're in the right place. If you see Molly Korth Williams there, wearing a "Koster" button "because Judge Dandurand asked me to", you're in the right place. If you see Jeff Harris there, tuning up a guitar, you're in the right place.

Mark your calendar today, and come out to the Attorney General debate. See if you agree with my pick . . .

Bring Out Your Hummingbird Feeders!

Tiny little hummingbirds have arrived in the Kansas City area, and they want your sugar-water!

Last year, we had quite a few of the zippy little things. They would chirp past my head when I sat near their feeder to read or converse at our umbrella table.

To feed them, just use 1 part sugar to 4 parts water, and put it in a hummingbird feeder. You don't need the expensive powders they sell in stores, and you certainly don't need food coloring, which can be bad for the little guys. My feeder has little perches so they can relax a second while sipping nectar, but they'll visit any feeder with a red attractor. I have a small test tube on one of our windows with a fed cap on it with a hole in it, and they visit that one, too.

For those keeping track, here's a map of when the first sightings of ruby-throated hummingbirds were turned in throughout the country, from Hummingbirds.net.

Gaming Blog For the Game Geeks

Can a video game be literature? Can a blog of "Game Journalism" done by two undergrads reach a large audience?

My son Sam and his buddy Chris Plante have created a huge hit with their new blog Hardcasual. With entries as diverse as a 3-part interview with Leigh Alexander and an appreciation of Escape Velocity, the blog has been picked up by links in Hungary and by Newsweek writers. Believe it or not, Sam managed to pen something controversial and ignite a controversy. I would claim that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but Sam was blogging before I was, so my own blogging is actually the metaphorical apple.

If you're into the gaming thing, you might enjoy the blog.

Mayor, Council do the Right Thing, Accept Raise

Earlier this week, the Kansas City Council accepted a 4% raise which had been passed by the prior council.

Naturally, this triggered the predictable chorus of knee-jerk criticism. The local joke blogger claimed that the Mayor lost credibility over the move (the joke, for those who missed it, was that the joke blogger knows anything at all about credibility), the KC Blew Blog blew it again, inexplicably "blaming" the Mayor for a unanimous vote (Gottstein missed the vote), and Darla Jaye proved herself to be at the same low level of insight by claiming that the Mayor and council were tone-deaf to approve a raise when cutbacks in staff are on the horizon.

The Mayor and Council did the right thing, and should be applauded for their idealism and courage in the face of the predictable but ignorant attacks.

Kansas City's elected officials are expected to devote the vast majority of their time to their elected roles. As council service grows in complexity and the demands of service ratchet upward, it appears that the days of part-time public service are long past, at least at the level of Kansas City Council.

Long ago, the decision was made to pay a reasonable wage to our City Council for their service. Keeping that commitment up-to-date, though, requires the political courage and good judgment on behalf of the Council to approve reasonable raises.

Less serious critics, however, can have a field day attacking the correct decision. Don't take a raise while layoffs are coming, they cry. They mistakenly assert that there is somehow an inconsistency between being smart with the money and accepting a reasonable pay increase. At a time when the city struggles to find money for basic services, they argue, it is wrong to accept a reasonable pay increase.

The critics believe that they are entitled to something for nothing. They believe they are entitled to quality service without paying for it. They think that those who devote a portion of their career to serving the city should not be entitled to reasonable pay for that service.

It's a common enough misconception. But would we bat an eye if the CEO of a plumbing supply company earned 4 or 5 times as much as the mayor? Wouldn't we be shocked to find high-level managers in a company with a budget the size of Kansas City's to be earning as little as our city council?

Is it reasonable to expect good people to accept the often thankless job of public service, and, at the same time, expect them to turn down raises which were announced and expected at the time they filed for the election?

Alas, such clear thinking doesn't cross the mind of those who are looking to take a political cheapshot at public servants.

I admire the Mayor and City Council for standing up for the pay raise, and not buckling to the unthinking ignoramuses who have launched their depressingly predictable attacks.

Candidates, Slander, and the 44th

My humorous extended metaphor on baseball box scores and quarterly campaign finance reports ignited a surprisingly bitter round of accusations and attacks. The simple facts I pointed out from Coffman's campaign finance report (fewer dollars, non-union t-shirts, and donations from pro-voucher lobbyists) triggered accusations that Kander's wife does my writing, though I do Stephen Bough's writing, and hints that Kander's military service to our nation in Afghanistan means that he is some kind of war criminal.

Once again, the partisans are turning out to be worse than the principals.

The three candidates in this race, Jason Kander, Amy Coffman, and Mary Spence are fine people. And I don't say that as a simple nod to polite political conversation - I've talked to each of them, and I like each of them. I know their supporters, and their supporters are good people supporting a candidate that they think would served the district well. I hope all three find their way into public office in some role.

My rosy view seems to be shared by the candidates themselves. I've talked a fair amount with the Kanders, and I've never heard them say a negative word about any of the others. I've chatted a little with Amy Coffman, including a conversation about the tone of the race, and she is 100% in favor of a clean race. While I haven't discussed the topic with Mary Spence, those supporters of her I know would react with disgust at the sort of slander spread in the comments of my Tuesday piece.

And by no means do I want to single out the attacks on Jason as being the only ones worthy of condemnation. Some anonymous creep over at the BlogCCP posted a horrible comment attacking a candidate's physical appearance.

There is a huge distinction between fair and unfair partisanship. For me the test is whether it is relevant and whether it is supported by specific facts. If I say that Candidate X is corrupt, that's an unfair attack. If I say that Candidate Y is corrupt because he has taken bribes, and I can back up that claim with specific facts, then that's a fair attack.

As I look back over my own political involvement, I can see where I've used both, so don't misunderstand my commitment to fair partisanship as a "holier than thou" pretense. For example, I think my approach toward Chris Koster provides examples of unfair name-calling, but also examples of well-supported and well-deserved criticism. Looking forward, though, I am going to condemn what's unfair, and invite anyone to call me out on any unfair attacks I might make in the future.

The Newest Political Lie

A commenter on my post about Art Benson winning a seat on the school board reminded me of what is rapidly becoming a standard lie by politicians. "I don't read local blogs" is up there with "No new taxes" and "I'll look out for the common man".

It's funny how often I will meet local politicians who, upon learning that I produce this blog, assure me that they don't read blogs. Uh-huh, sure. Despite that assurance, they are quick to let me know if an obscure comment from 3 months ago was inaccurate, or to compliment me on something they thought was funny.

Does anyone on earth really believe that politicians - a group that craves attention - don't read what is being written about them? They like to claim they're somehow above it all, but it's a farce.

Play Ball!! Quarterly Campaign Finance Reports Time!

Political geeks like me love campaign finance reports. A baseball box score reveals secrets of strategy, individual performances, and key statistics, but only a tiny portion of the success of the season. Similarly, quarterly campaign finance reports provide enough hard facts to fuel gossip and speculation, but only a tiny part of what it takes to have a successful election season.

In the 44th District, for example, Jason Kander once again defeated Amy Coffman in an extremely close contest, continuing his sweep of the series. (Both defeated Mary Cosgrove Spence, who appears to be a shoo-in for Rookie of the year, but thus far has not shown much potential for the play-offs.) It was a tight battle, though, with Jason Kander edging Coffman out $16,110.15 to $15,075.00.

One troubling sign for the Coffman team is that they had to resort to their bullpen awfully early. As a lobbyist, Coffman was obviously going to resort to her lobbyist friends and their easy cash sooner or later, but I, for one, didn't expect her to call up the farm team in Jefferson City as early as March. But there it is - including campaign funds from the lobbyist dream team of school voucher flamethrowers, Flotron & McIntosh, LLC. Honestly, that is like throwing spit balls in a Democratic primary, but maybe she felt like she had to pull out a late-inning miracle.

Another curve ball from the Coffman side was a purchase of T-shirts from non-union CheapesTees.com, in Burlingame, California. Her website (which is a very nice one, by the way, now that it's up), claims that

I think we can agree that personal security begins with stable, well paying jobs for Kansas City’s working people. A healthy economy, strong labor unions and a vibrant business environment help families reach their economic and professional goals.

I know I agree, but it appears that some may be a little shaky on that one.

All told, it's only one box score, and this week's stats don't tell us what's going to happen in the World Series. The rookie could catch fire. Any of the teams could commit a crucial balk. The umpire could toss someone out for throwing bean balls, though all sides seem to be pitching strikes at this stage. Amy Coffman has attracted an impressive group of fans, including the current officeholder, and my favorite City Councilwoman.

To carry the analogy one final step, in this local race with three fine candidates, the ultimate winner may be decided by which one takes the most walks - door to door.

I'm Fresh Out of Children

Today, my daughter turns 21. 21! By any societal measure, she is a complete, bona fide adult now, able to buy a beer, gamble, smoke, buy porn, join the military, pay taxes, sign contracts, rent a hotel room, get a tattoo, pierce whatever she chooses, and anything else she may want to do except rent a car. Since she was the youngest of my two, I no longer have "children" - I suppose I have "offspring" or "descendants" or some other less diminutive classification.

On Friday evening, she organized a sold-out crawfish boil to support CASA in New Orleans. Whatever you call her, I'm awfully proud to call her my daughter.

Beth Gottstein Shows Moral Leadership

Beth Gottstein is doing even better on the City Council than I thought she would. She's smart, she's hardworking, and she has solid moral instincts. With the exception of her joining with the Nasty Nine in voting to reward Wayne Cauthen with a foolish 3 year contract, she's been on the right side of all the important issues. (Even on that one, I wonder if perhaps she traded her vote for future concessions, since she could see that a majority of the Council had abandoned all rationality and wanted to shower scarce city money on a guy who lied on his resume and stole from the travel budget. Or maybe Funk's ungraceful handling of the situation provoked her into making one big, but forgivable, mistake.)

Recently, a bunch of Kansas City Democrats received a hateful, bigoted email attacking a fellow Democrat. Because it so thoroughly blended charges that would raise concerns if true with idiotic frothing worthy of Coulter, I simply deleted my copies and put it out of my mind.

Beth Gottstein, though, reacted with a better and more sensitive moral compass than my own. She posted a memo to Democratic leaders on BlogCCP, calling on the state party to censure those who fail to "practice ethical self-discipline". Thank you, Beth, for calling on us to live up to our consciences, rather than to ignore evil when it does not directly touch us.

Susan Wiegand - Kansas City's Most Enchanting Personality?

Several years ago, my wife and I attended a fundraiser for some cause at the home of Scott and Rhonda Burnett. Scott and Rhonda are wonderful hosts - warm and fascinating people with great stories to tell, but also interested in the stories their guests have to share. And they tend to invite diverse, outgoing and interesting guests, so an evening at the Burnett's house is always an opportunity to expand your universe of luminescent people.

On the Burnetts' porch, we met a tall, graceful woman with a vivacious smile and dramatic but comfortable flair. She told us of her book - Cooking as Courtship, which she described as less of a cookbook than an approach to food. A couple weeks later, I ran into her at a breakfast spot, and she was kind enough to sell me a copy of her charming book. (Some friend has since borrowed this book and adopted it, so I need to buy a new copy. I don't resent my friend's adoption - I hope whoever it was is enjoying it.)

Since then, I have visited her converted fire house on Troost - a reclaimed building converted into space for her comfort clothing - Ideal Garment and Scientific Panty. I have discovered her book online, and I have discovered her blog. Go read this post on "The Stories We Tell Ourselves" and you'll get a taste of her thoughtful but relaxed approach toward life and living. Or try "Dressing the Part, 2" - here's the first paragraph:

We dress the part. We just do. We dress the way we think others will expect us to dress for the particular role we are playing at any particular moment. We dress the way we think a professional whatever dresses. We dress to look bohemian, or suburban, or to appear to be part of the elite, which is a very complex dress code, indeed, whichever elite you are thinking of. It is no easier to infiltrate the costume conventions of the upper east side, than it is to fool the second grade junta, or the trailer park high-trash. Cool is still cool, and you probably aren't, and you probably are going to try to dress in some way that will suggest you are. Or might be.

Some Saturday, when you're lounging around the house, feeling kind of blah and uninspired, head on down to the Firehouse at 4518 Troost. You don't have to buy anything, though you may want to. But you can't buy the sense of alertness to the beauty and charm of the world - she gives that away.

Jeff Harris Unites Kansas City Lawyers

Lawyers tend to be a fractious bunch. Plaintiff's lawyers tend to dislike defense attorneys, and the defense attorneys tend to return the favor. Big firm lawyers tend to think that small firm lawyers don't have what it takes to make the "big time", and small firm lawyers tend to think that big firm lawyers are book-smart eggheads who can't make it in the real world. Nobody likes the divorce lawyers, except their clients.

With all those disunifying tendencies, it is great to see this invitation.doc, for an event back on 4/4. The list of sponsors includes a who's who of plaintiff's lawyers, defense lawyers, big firm lawyers, solos, and even academics. It's a great list, and speaks well of Jeff Harris' ability to unify the Democratic Party behind him after he wins the primary for Attorney General.

Benson Won

That's the scoop of the day. Other blogs would use red letters, claim an exclusive, and indulge in exclamation points, but that's not the way this one rolls.

Benson won.

How I Would Have Defeated the Bus Tax, or Thank You to Incompetent Rightwing Political Consultants

I supported the 15-year extension of the Bus Tax, and I voted in favor of it. It won handily - I even visited the Election Watch party in support of the issue and had a few of their tasty meatballs.

The people at the party were thanking each other, but they really should have been thanking Jeff Roe, the rightwing political consultant who led the opposition. If he had run a competent campaign, the 3/8 cent sales tax would have gone down in flames.

With the anonymous money thrown at Jeff Roe, I could have delivered a victory for the opponents.

Simply stated, choose a clean message and deliver it. Truly, it is that simple. There were enough real weaknesses in this tax extension that a good message would have spread like a virus to defeat this tax. The choices were out there. While I would have worked through a focus group to choose which one worked best, some of the options would have been:

- "Where'd Our Money Go?" - This catch-phrase would have focused on the lack of clarity surrounding the $22 million in revenue. Truth is, a lot of the money will be going to "planning" and other soft costs that don't really appeal to the average taxpayer. Making the KCATA explain exactly how it will be spending $22 million for 15 years would have put the pro-tax effort in an awkward, defensive position. Bus riders are a small percentage of the voting public, and most voters don't trust that the ATA spends its money wisely. Visually, show a bus covered in dollars pulling away from a frustrated taxpayer.

- "Not so fast!" - This campaign would exploit the fact that this tax extension really is a little premature. We don't have a light rail plan, we don't know how our bus system will work with whatever light rail plan we get, and the current tax doesn't run out until March of next year. Voters could be persuaded that it would be better to work it all out together in November. Visually, show a squad car pulling over a bus.

- "Where does it stop?" - Voters hate being duped. This tax was approved for 5 years back in 2003. Now they want 15 more years. Again, where's the plan for a sustainable transportation program? Visually, show a bus full of taxpayers trying to exit a bus driven by a maniacal driver, who won't stop.

Fortunately, the consultant behind the opposition ran a far weaker campaign. Instead of choosing a message and hammering it home, he tried to slam the plan and TIF financing and Kay Barnes, all while playing cutesy games like naming the organization Kansas Citians Against Tax Abuse (KCATA). Really, just dumb. Why undercut your credibility by looking like a fraud-feasor? Why run against TIF pigs when the connection is so tenuous? Why drag the former Mayor into it?

Whatever the reasons, I'm truly grateful that Jeff Roe got his hands on the money spent by the opposition. If that money had been spent effectively, the tax would not have been extended. Incompetence saved the day.

If I were Sam Graves, I would be getting nervous. Will Roe take down Graves, too?

A Primer on Election Watch Parties

Free food. Sometimes free drinks. Drama. Opinionated people with something in common. Strange people. Celebrities. TV cameras and print reporters.

Election Watch Parties are a fascinating niche in the party-going world. They represent the best that the political world has to offer - launch parties are universally earnest and strident. Fundraisers are either brazen or coy, but always measured by the bottom line. But Election Watch Parties are something special.

Who can resist a party with the inherent drama and tension of election results? Even in "sure-thing" elections, there's always that edgy worry that the sneaky opposition pulled off a miracle. Until the votes are counted, anything can happen. Remember Florida?

If you're not an experienced election watch party attendee, the risk hovering over the party probably sounds like a damper. The thought of being present when the star of the party gets demolished by public opinion probably sounds awkward and awful. Kind of like waiting in the church with a bride for a groom that never shows.

Oddly enough, losing parties aren't all that painful. The losing candidate usually (but not always!) tries to keep a shred of dignity, and the true believers struggle to put on a brave front. Alright, I'll admit that you have to be a bit of a hard-hearted ass to enjoy a losing watch party, but I'm blessed with the ability to appreciate a fine train wreck.

Winning parties are almost always a lot more fun, and, if you happen to be a true believer (as I often am), they can seem like Cinderella's ball without a curfew. There is a many-faceted joy in the room - the affirmation of the voters, the "told-you-so" glee of the activists, and the barely-suppressible "You like me, you really like me" exhilaration of the candidate and close insiders. I've never been to a watch party as a single person, but I imagine they are full of opportunity, if you like the political types.

Which brings me to the cast of characters at an election watch party. First off, the candidate (or, in non-local races, his or her proxy) may be the center of attention, but it's not the time to schmooze him or her. S/he will shake hundreds of hands that night, and you will only be part of the crowd. If, for whatever fine or nefarious reason, you want a politician to be your friend, establish that relationship during the campaign by hosting a couple fundraisers or doing a lit drop. The election watch party is too late.

Spend your time watching the other characters. There will be at least a couple, and probably a team, of Very Serious People furiously seeking the latest shred of data. They wear concerned looks the entire night, and their biggest thrill is handing folded pieces of paper to the candidate or other VIPs. They will not be drinking, for fear of transposition errors.

The political insiders are fun to watch, too. They are there to see and be seen. They will probably be wearing navy and red, and have a firm handshake. If you are a kind soul, get a quizzical look on your face when they introduce themselves, and say, "Haven't I heard that name before?". They will explode with false modesty and rattle through a list of committees and boards, glowing with excitement that you've heard of them. "Haven't I heard that name before?" at a political event is the equivalent of "Have you been working out lately?" at a singles bar. Use it often and spread shallow self-esteem.

By far the most fun people are the volunteers. Look for the poorly dressed (they were working the polls), the bad hair (ballcaps), the ones with their emotions on their sleeves. They aren't part of the crowd of sophisticated "insiders" - they are the people who really got out and worked. There are always a lot of first-timers in this group, and they got there because they knew the candidate in high school, or they're related, or they met him or her at a coffee shop and were impressed. Just walk up to them and ask how they know the candidate, and they will blossom with enthusiasm. These are the people you want to have a beer with.

Finally, there are the celebrities who show up late. But usually only to successful parties. They are the least exciting and the least welcome. If you happen to have one brush by you, use their first name when you shake their hand, and say "Hi, _________, good to see you again, it's been a little while." That phrase will trigger their mental rolodex, and they will try to figure out who you are. It's a minor form of psychological terrorism.

One last word of advice. I used to be shy about attending them. "Sure, I spent hours stuffing envelopes and phone banking and waxing the candidate's car to a sparkly shine, but am I really welcome at the Election Watch Party?" These parties are wide open for crashing. If you hear where one is, don't hesitate to eat the food and see if the drinks are free. Nobody is going to risk offending a donor or a volunteer, so walk in like you own the place. See you in August. I'll be the one in navy and red.

Crappy Day for the Polls - Your Vote Counts for More

It's an ugly day. It's Royals Opening Day. It's Rotary Greater Kansas City Day.

There are dozens of reasons not to vote this morning. Which means that your vote counts more, if you bother to cast it.

Right now, it's cold and wet and dreary. What a perfect day to vote in favor of Question 3! It reminds me of the schadenfreude I'll feel every time I walk past a cold, wet smoker on my way into one of Kansas City's soon-to-be smoke-free bars and restaurants!

Oh, yeah, vote "YES" on all the questions, and cast a vote for Airick Leonard West!

Kansas City Star ROBBED by Pulitzer Committee!!

Incredibly, the Pulitzer Committee somehow overlooked the 120-article series on "hot fuel" penned by the obsessive Steve Everly. How could they fail to recognize the constant, tedious reportage plumbing the shocking, shocking fact that liquids tend to expand when they are warmed?

They must not have an award for pointless, breathless exposes . . .

Even so, they should have given an award for the weekend teaser they used back in October - "The hot fuel debate rages on nationwide . . .". Pulitzer for comedy writing?

Missouri Historical Review - Hilary Bush, and the Best Bargain in Missouri

Did you know that Missouri's Lieutenant Governor from 1961-1965 was a man named Hilary Bush? Just a little tidbit gleaned from my weekend reading.

Late this week, I received my copy of the latest edition of the Missouri Historical Review, a journal published quarterly and mailed out for free to the members of the State Historical Society of Missouri. It includes a fascinating article about Tom Eagleton's first Senate Campaign - a political drama played out amidst the Humphrey v. Nixon election of 1968. It also includes a great analysis of a drawing of "Persephone's Shade Tree" by Thomas Hart Benton, a drawing which served as a study for the best painting ever painted by a Missourian.

I love the Missouri Historical Review. I've loved it since I was in late grade school, and first read the well-illustrated, detailed articles that struck the exact balance I sought between interesting yarns and academic history. It's serious stuff, with long, detailed articles about diverse topics such as Branch Rickey (the inventor of the "farm system" for Major League Baseball), civla war battles and a resort town that flourished and disappeared near Warrensburg, but it is always readable and accessible.

Amazingly, annual membership in the State Historical Society of Missouri is only $20, and it includes the Missouri Historical Review.

I've spent $20 on a lot of things that have brought me less pleasure than the Missouri Historical Review.

Cardinals and Royals in First Place, and it's Poetry Month

The sunshine is a bit brighter when my teams are winning ballgames, and both Missouri baseball teams are leading their divisions. I'm no statistician, but I'm willing to bet that it's been a long time since both the Cardinals and Royals have been in first.

This morning's Writer's Almanac from Garrison Keillor includes the following fresh gem:

Poem: "Assignment #1: Write a poem about Baseball and God" by Philip E. Burnham, Jr. from Housekeeping: Poems Out of the Ordinary. © Ibbetson Street Press, 2005. Reprinted with permission.

Assignment #1: Write a poem about Baseball and God

And on the ninth day, God
In His infinite playfulness
Grass green grass, sky blue sky,
Separated the infield from the outfield,
Formed a skin of clay,
Assigned bases of safety
On cardinal points of the compass
Circling the mountain of deliverance,
Fashioned a wandering moon
From a horse, a string and a gum tree,
Tempered weapons of ash,
Made gloves from the golden skin of sacrificial bulls,
Set stars alight in the Milky Way,
Divided the descendants of Cain and Abel into contenders,
Declared time out, time in, stepped back,
And thundered over all of creation:
"Play ball!"

Did Chris Koster Recruit Molly Korth Williams?

Over at the Pitch, David Martin connects a few dots and surmises that Molly Korth Williams' last-minute and half-hearted filing for the Missouri Attorney General Democratic primary was engineered by Chris Koster.

Here's the evidence:

- Koster is a very close friend of Judge Joe Dandurand.
- Williams is a very close friend of Judge Joe Dandurand.
- Koster (and, to be fair as always, Jeff Harris, the only candidate with strong experience in the Attorney General's office) may benefit from having another woman in the race to dilute Margaret Donnelly's perceived advantage among gender-based voters.
- Williams is not running a serious race, in that she took off for a vacation immediately after filing, and has not formed a committee to raise funds.
- The recruitment of primary challengers to weaken other candidates has been a hallmark of Cass County (Dandurand and Koster's home base) politics for years. (Actually, Martin didn't make that point, but I will.)
- Williams is a spectacularly weak candidate, with neither money, nor experience, nor even a job in the legal field.
- Koster's campaign doesn't even deny it.

Personally, I think this clipping I took from the Association for Women Lawyers newsletter says all that needs to be said about the relationship of Koster's friend and the new candidate, as well as the tenor of the "Williams for AG campaign":

Update on the Wrongheadedness of DUI Checkpoints

When I wrote yesterday of the foolishness of numerous cops spending untold tax dollars stopping and delaying hundreds of motorists last Friday night to catch 7 allegedly intoxicated drivers, I didn't realize how bad it was.

Over at the always informative Capt. Spaulding's World (a newsy blog), I learned that "Meanwhile that same night- several police patrol zones were "blacked out"- or had no cars available to run calls."

Can you believe that insanity? While hundreds of innocent citizens were experiencing an unwelcome, warrantless, probable-cause-free, police intrusion into their evening, other citizens who actually needed police services were left as voices crying in the wilderness.

Not a nickle more for the wasteful Police Department until it stops wasting our tax dollars!

Not a nickle more for the wasteful Police Department until it uses the money we do giv it to protect citizens instead of hassling them.

"I'm F*ing Obama"

I'm still on board for Hillary, but this is pretty darned funny . . .

Hire Cops Instead of Hassling Hundreds of Citizens

Not a nickle more for the wasteful Police Department until it stops wasting our tax dollars!

The Police Department claims there's no way that it can live up to the promise to hire 20 new cops this year.

Yet buried in the paper on Saturday was this little item:

Kansas City police arrest 7 for DUI at checkpoint

KANSAS CITY | DUI arrests

During a sobriety checkpoint late Friday and early Saturday, Kansas City police made 7 DUI arrests and arrested two other people for other unspecified traffic violations.

Police stopped a total of 286 vehicles from 11 p.m. Friday to 4 a.m. Saturday near the intersection of Ward Parkway and Wornall Road, according to a press release.

Karen Dillon

How many cops worked how many hours for those seven arrests? I'll guess 10 or so, probably more. How many hours of paperwork went into it, before and after? Were any of those hours paid at an overtime rate? 5 hours of checkpoint means at least a full 8 hour shift, maybe more. Ignoring the prospect of overtime pay, I'm willing to bet they blew over 80 hours of cop time on 7 arrests and 279 needless hasslings of law-abiding citizens, with attendant delay for those unlucky saps. More than 10 hours per arrest, and if they eliminated two checkpoints a month, they would save the equivalent of a new cop.

I personally think that DUI checkpoints are a warrantless unreasonable search and seizure conducted without probably cause, but the courts disagree with me. Regardless of their legality, though, they remain a singularly intrusive and ineffective waste of resources for a department that cries about underfunding.

Big Tobacco Got Burned, or How I Would Have Won on the Bad Side of Question 3

Question 3 on Kansas City's ballots a week from today is a proposal to prevent inconsiderate people from imposing health risks and cleaning bills on their intellectual and moral superiors. Or, at least, that is the conventional wisdom that will prevail at the polls next Tuesday, despite the $225,000 spent by tobacco companies to shift that attitude.

The tobacco companies got cheated.

They're not losing because they're evil. They're losing because they ran an utterly ineffective campaign. With the money they've tossed into the cause, I could have delivered a victory for them.

Mind you, I'm not going to go crying any tears for big tobacco. Their business model has been to spread death and to lie about it, so I hold no sympathy for them. I just didn't know they were so foolish.

First off, whoever designed those yard signs should be ashamed. The key to yard signs is to deliver a message at a glance. The "No on 3" signs, though, deliver an undecipherable black bar. Not only is it ugly, but, more importantly, the black bar swallows the dark red 3. The message delivered is "NO on Question". The "NO" stands out fine, but the sign fails in its main purpose.

Next, the whole thrust of the campaign was poorly chosen. Rather than running against casinos, big tobacco has been running to protect small business owners. Sorry, friends, but nobody really cares about bar owners. "Business rights" might sound good when you're sitting around having a pity party with your fellow bar owners, but the rest of us aren't crying into your river. We're also not falling for the made-up statistics claiming that all our local bars are going to close and the taps will grow cobwebs. It's a lie, and nobody's falling for it, so if they had spent half an hour listening to a focus group, they would have adopted an entirely different theme.

Now that it's too late for them to change their theme and yank up those worthless yard signs, I'll go ahead and give them the advice they needed before they blew almost a quarter million dollars.

"Don't Stack the Deck. No on 3. No More Breaks for Gaming."

There it is. A sense of unfairness. A focus on the casino exemption - the one aspect of the Smoking Ban that makes absolutely no sense to people of good will. And a big ugly target to run against.

Kansas Citians don't like big businesses getting an advantage over the rest of us. That's one of the main reasons that Funkhouser's Mayoral campaign focused on the TIF pigs. While not a single person in Kansas City could point to a single dollar that a TIF project had taken out of his or her pocket, the resentment against cozy insiders making big money over breakfast with the former Mayor ran deep.

The casinos should have been the TIF pigs of this race. Especially since they wouldn't even fight back - there's no way they would actually promote anti-smoking legislation.

Of course, I would have also ran a better street campaign, even beyond the yard signs. Every beer in Kansas City would have been served on a coaster that looked like a big ace of spades, with "Don't stack the deck - No on 3" written on it. Letters to the editor would focus on "why are we giving more breaks to the casinos?". Press releases would point out that this proposal favors not only the KC casino, but also the ones in other municipalities. I'd have those little oval car stickers with "NO3" available at every bar, and plastered on every bar employee's car.

Question 3 will pass by a healthy margin next Tuesday, and I'm glad of it. I'll be happy to see people voting in favor of clean air and pleasant bars.

But if the bar owners and tobacco companies were smart, we'd all be going out on Tuesday to vote against another break for "the house". I could have won this race for them. I'm glad they hired the incompetents.