Crap will Ruin Your Life

I hate to be harsh, but crap is out to ruin your life. If you have lousy taste, people will think you're stupid, and will cynically take advantage of you.

Case in point - Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light". He is now under FBI investigation for fraud, but some of the allegations make you wonder how stupid people manage to get their hands on money to invest so poorly.

Those ex-owners alleged, among other things, that the artist, known for his dreamily luminous landscapes and street scenes, used his Christian faith to persuade them to invest in the independently owned stores, which must sell Kinkade’s work exclusively.
. . .
After investing tens of thousands of dollars or more, former gallery owners alleged that the company’s unfair practices and policies drove them out of business. They alleged that they were stuck with unsalable limited-edition prints, forced to open additional stores in saturated markets, and undercut by discounters that sold identical art works at prices they were forbidden to match.

Gee, ya think you might lose money by opening a gallery that sells crappy art exclusively? What, couldn't you get the franchise for selling sad clowns??

In searching for links to use for this post, I came across even more horrifying news. A housing development called "The Gates of Old Hawthorne" in Columbia, Missouri, is being built with a Thomas Kinkade theme.

About 100 luxury homes will feature architectural designs inspired by the artwork of Thomas Kinkade, the "Painter of Light(TM)" and world-renowned artist.
. . .
"The homes will be reminiscent of Thomas Kinkade's charming cottages that are found in many of his works," stated Rann Haight, Director of Architectural Design for HST Group. "We will also be concentrating our efforts on creating a village atmosphere and neighborhood streetscapes such as those found in Thomas Kinkade's painting, Lamplight Lane."

For Pete's sake, people! Can't you see that a builder who thinks you have crappy taste and poor judgment is likely to cut a few extra corners?

In a tangentially related note, I was stuck on an elliptical machine yesterday at the gym and the TV in my line of site shifted to a Tom Bosley infomercial for SMC - an opportunity to lose whatever money you may have by trying to sell crappy, ugly figurines and vases to other people without any taste. It was fascinating, especially since the other TV I could see had some bizarre woman who looked like a cross between Condi Rice, Oprah and Skeletor preaching about how God expresses His favor through wealth, and that it is Christian to seek money in abundance. In any case, my sick fascination led me to this page, which must be one of the saddest pages on the internet. If you want a look into the heart of people who want to get rich quick, this is the place to go.

Origin of the Forward Pass

Did you know that the forward pass was accepted into the sport of football because of the death of a Union College player in a game against NYU? Did you know that SLU was the first to make the forward pass a mainstay of the offense? Did you know that 2006 is the centenary of the forward pass?

No?

Well, don't feel too bad. I didn't know any of that until I read this informative article.

Go Dutchmen. (Gonemild, '82)

10 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

When I turned 40, I decided I wanted to play soccer again before I shuffled off this mortal coil. I jogged, got in reasonable shape, practiced at the park, and got a friend to let me on his over-30 team. I played a game, managed not to embarrass myself, and broke my ankle in the backyard the following weekend.

Perhaps it is the fact that my both my children have left the nest again that causes me to ponder the final scorecard. So, here are a few of the things I want to achieve before I die, limited to things that really could happen (and which, for the sake of my mother, wife and children who read this blog, do not involve Olivia Newton John or twins):

1. Run a marathon. (Those who know me will think this is beyond the realm of possibility, but it isn't.)

2. Win an award for my beer. (I've only entered one contest, and did okay. And I've made some awesome beers that I didn't enter into contests . . .)

3. Paint a picture I am happy with.

4. Write a novel I am happy with. (I don't even really care if it gets published, if I know it's good.)

5. Hit a hole in one.

6. Do a good stand-up comedy act.

7. Catch a bass of at least 6 pounds. (I know, that's a pretty low bar, but it's a goal I set when I was 9 years old, and I still want to do it.)

8. Articulate a coherent set of spiritual beliefs.

9. Do a brewery tour of Belgium.

10. Hear a world-class orchestra perform Ma Vlast in the Czech Republic.

Of course, there are many other things, like having rich relationships with those I love, or being healthy, or being financially secure, that could be on the list, but I chose to focus on things that I can one day scratch off the list . . .

Why Do Americans Favor Democrats on Economic Issues?

In generations past, Democrats used to trail the Republicans on economic issues. Ever since Carter, though, the Republicans have consistently driven the economy into the ground, and Clinton is the only president to have brought us prosperity and a surplus.

The lack of serious thought on the rightwing is illustrated by this Republican insider from Texas. He argues (with a straight face) that those of us who view Bush's irresponsible deficit to be an immoral "birth tax" on future generations should adopt a voluntary system of additional taxation.

With arguments like that, is it any wonder that the average American realizes that the Democrats are the adults in the room when it comes to the economy?

Scary Black Men Frighten Republicans

Too funny. Over at The Sores, the Republicans are complaining that they are frightened by a radio advertisement for Claire McCaskill because it uses a black person, Terry Riley, and he doesn't sound happy. "Riley takes a very aggressive and angry tone when speaking about Missouri’s Junior Senator."

From now on, maybe black politicians should just be quiet, to prevent Republicans getting the vapors, unless they want to sing like Uncle Remus:

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
My, oh my what a wonderful day!
Plenty of sunshine heading my way
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay

Mister Bluebird on my shoulder
It's the truth, it's actch'll
Ev'rything is satisfactch'll
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!

Mark Forsythe - Right on Bikes

Mark Forsythe is a candidate for the Kansas City Council, and he is maintatining an honest-to-goodness blog, free-ranging and interesting, as opposed to the blog-as-collection-of-press-releases which have become the standard on politicians' sites.

I don't know whom he's running against, but he may have won my vote yesterday with his blog entry on the pathetic losers who ride loud Harleys. If he will pledge to introduce an ordinance requiring individuals caught on loud motorcycles to surrender their licenses and go to self-esteem classes, I'll work on his campaign!

Go See Makuza!

I wrote about this group a few months ago. Now, you can go see them for free, at the smoke-free Blue Room. I recommend it with enthusiasm!

From the Blue Room website:

Makuza is a Latin Jazz Ensemble, fueled by the crossover of Latin American & Afro American musical traditions and innovations. Salsa, Hard Bop, Funk, Samba, and Afrolatin drumming are the roots of Makuza's sound.

Since September 2004 Makuza has been performing in Kansas City, Chicago, and the Midwest, and recently performed at the New Mexico Jazz Festival. The group received the Outstanding Ensemble award as well as two Outstanding Soloist awards at the Elmhurst Jazz Festival in Chicago in 2005, and received an invitation to perform at Jazz Under the Stars in 2007.

A deep respect for tradition, coupled with a desire to constantly break new ground fuels this highly successful and fast moving Latin jazz sextet.

Come to the Blue Room on the corner of 18th and Vine -- where jazz grew up and lives today -- to hear the best music America has to offer.

Thursday August 31st, 2006
7:00pm to 11:00pm

In the
Blue Room
Admission is Free

Book Meme

I've never participated in one of those "memes" that bloggers do, where they answer a series of questions and then pass them on to their cohorts. They have the same feel as junk mail, and, besides, nobody has ever emailed me and asked me before. But, when you're "tagged" by someone as charismatic as Three O'Clock in the Morning, and the topic is something as compelling as books, well, I think I should play along, so here goes . . .

1. One book that changed your life.

Catch-22, by Joseph Heller. I was a junior at an all-male Catholic School in St. Louis, and Doc Noonan assigned this book. I was a fantastically conservative, duty-bound young man, and the character of Orr came along at the right time to free up my thinking process and see multiple opportunities where only conformity appeared before. It was a subversive thing to do, teaching that book to a classroom full of eager-to-fit-in kids without any real knowledge of the world. Wherever you are, Doc Noonan, thank you.

2. One book you have read more than once.

In a house jammed full of books I want to read, it's hard to justify reading the same book twice. I've read Catch-22 more than once, and HuckleBerry Finn, but I think I'll put Hamlet into this slot. Once you get swept into the flow and language of Shakespeare, you can see why his plays are the gold standard. The central character is so complex and ambiguous - you can find anything in this play. A true understanding of this play will vaccinate any thinking person from absolutism.

3. One book you would want on a desert island.

Tough one. Of course, the Bible is a safe response, or some other repository of cultural wisdom, and the Complete Works of Shakespeare would be a good follow-up to my prior pick, but the truth is that I would most want a great big blank book, and a nice fountain pen with lots of ink. Writing and drawing help me think, and a few years on a desert island would be a great opportunity to get some stuff figured out . . .

4. One book that made you laugh. A Prayer for Owen Meany, by John Irving. Definitely in my top ten books I've ever read, Owen Meany is full of sophomoric humor, true pathos, and inspirational beauty. If you've read it, you probably agree - and if you haven't, go do so.

5. One book that made you cry. Yikes. I don't cry while reading all that much, but reading Where the Red Fern Grows to the kids years and years ago left me choking back sobs. Reading books to my kids may have been the best time investment I ever made, and I'm a sucker for a good dog story.

6. One book you wish you had written. The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway. Why?

The driver started up the street. I settled back. Brett moved close to me. We sat close against each other. I put my arm around her and she rested against me comfortably. It was very hot and bright, and the houses looked sharply white. We turned out onto the Gran Via.
“Oh, Jake,” Brett said, “we could have had such a damned good time together.”
Ahead was a mounted policeman in khaki directing traffic. He raised his baton. The car slowed suddenly pressing Brett against me.
“Yes,” I said. “Isn't it pretty to think so?”

Coolest line ever written. Period.

7. One book you wish had never been written. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. This book is the La Brea Tar Pit of the intellect. Like the thousands of animals who wandered into the tar pits and became mired in the stickiness till they died, half-clever intellects come upon this monument to selfishness and get stuck by its clingy message of "rugged individualism". Stronger minds step back from the black ugliness of it, but mediocre minds are comforted by the warm ooze of believing that they are somehow inherently superior to the feeble masses, and they live the rest of their lives as libertarians.

On the other hand, the book kept me out of Opus Dei, but that's another story . . .

8. One book you are currently reading. Freddie and Fredericka, by Mark Helprin. My favorite living author gets comedic and playful, and the word-play is spectacular. So far, I'm greatly enjoying it.

9. One book you have been meaning to read. Black Lamb and Grey Falcom, by Rebecca West. I've started this book a couple times, but, at 1181 pages, I haven't made it through very much of it. It's about a pre-WWII journey through Yugoslavia, and it is a fascinating combination of history and travel-writing. Well-written and insightful.

10. Tag five people. Brian Stayton, Dolphin, Sunshine Burn, Travelingal (use the comments section) and Todd Elkins. (Update: Has Hip Suburban White Guy been tagged yet? If not, consider yourself tagged, XO.)

Andrew Young - As Big a Star as Mel Gibson??

The whiny, woe-is-me, rightwing cult of victimization is in a tizzy that Mel Gibson's obscenely anti-semitic drunken rant caught the public's attention moreso than remarks by a nearly-forgotten left-wing bit-player from the past who has sold out to Wal-Mart, Andrew Young.

What percentage of Americans recognize Mel Gibson's name, versus Andrew Young's (and how many of those would think he sang with Crosby Stills and Nash?)? Yet, in the parallel universe of the right-wing, we should expect equal public attention to their respective gaffes.

Whiny wankers.

Let's Get Dirty Tomorrow - Really - Me and You!

Update on my post from a couple days ago. How about, instead of going to a meeting to help make plans for beautification, we just get it started?

The great people in charge of Tulips on Troost need help this Sunday from 11-4 - come to 5516 Troost (Durwin Rice). It's one of those rare times when, rather than bitching about the world and the stupid people who screw it up, you can get your hands dirty and improve a corner of it.

If tomorrow doesn't work, they will be planting bulbs every weekend in October - but there is quite a bit that needs to be done in preparation for that - call 816-361-6825 for more info.

Lazy Blogging - Bush on the NSA Decision, via AMERICAblog

I just had to cut and paste this rant - hits it on the head . . .

Someone give George Bush a God damn fucking civics lesson

I've had it with this idiot.

We've got the president of the fucking United States of America lecturing a US court of law that it's supposed to reach decisions NOT based on the rule of law, but on "the nature of the world we live in."

You God damn stupid fuck.

You have the nerve to claim Osama and the terrorists hate our democracy? They got nothing on you and your fellow "Republicans." Do you people even believe in freedom? Do you believe in the Bill of Rights? Do you believe in our Constitution? Do you fucking believe in anything other than your absolute power to do whatever the fuck you want like some two-bit communist dictator rather than the president of the greatest country on earth?

We live in a democracy, you incompetent ass - one that is quickly eroding because half the people of this country elected a moron to the presidency (twice) and now are so embarrassed by their vote that they refuse to stand up and demand an end to your idiotic reign of terror.

These are judges you're demeaning. American jurists. The people in charge of our laws. And you speak of them like they're nothing more than crap. You and your party have contempt for our entire system of jurisprudence, the entire system of checks and balances our democracy is based on, because you can't get your way 100% of the time. Well boo-fucking-hoo. We are a country of laws, you stupid stupid man.

The world in which we live is one in which the town drunk thinks he's the king of the fucking world.

Osama bin Laden is a danger to be sure. But the greatest threat to our democracy is from George Bush and his genuflecting Republicans.

That's pretty good stuff, though I think he could have been more direct with his opinion . . .

What Rightwingers See When They Read the New York Times

One of the measures of rightwing insanity is the level of complaining they do about the chimerical "liberal media". The real wingnuts truly believe that these billion-dollar corporations with a bias only for attracting more advertising dollars and pleasing shareholders are actually left-leaning revolutionaries, despite the fact that they have never seen an article in a major newspaper questioning the corporate shield or a weekly section devoted to the lifestyles of the truly impoverished.

Here is a brilliantly-done explanation of how the New York Times looks to those blinded by the right.

(Via the indispensable Eschaton.)

Want to Do Something Good? Tulips on Troost

In a morally gray world, filled with nuance and unintended consequences, it's great to find something that is undeniably good. The Tulips on Troost project, through which one of the grand old streets of Kansas City can bloom with bright flowers, is one of those simply good things. People can quibble about all kinds of things, but, in the end, the vision of hundreds of thousands of tulips in bloom on Troost Avenue is unquestionable bright and positive.

Want to help it happen? Want to be a part of something that will beautify a corner of the world? Want to help out a scrappy and rebounding part of the city?

This coming Monday, August 21st at 5:30PM, the Tulips on Troost project is conducting an orientation for *Tulip Volunteer Leaders* at the Rockhurst Community Center (5401 Troost Avenue). They will have information on how different groups can best participate in Tulips on Troost, as well as a report on the 40 volunteers from Rockhurst University who will be installing planter beds and planting mums on Sunday.

Should smoking be allowed in bars? Should Lieberman be entitled to a seat in the Senate? Did Bush dupe us into an unnecessary and unwise war? Are the terrorists coming to get us? We can talk about all that until our faces turn blue. But our words and emotions won't brighten the landscape the way that hundreds of thousands of tulips will.

I'll be at the meeting. If you're interested in helping, show up or email me. Maybe we can even organize a group of bloggers to do some planting.

Into the Belly of the Smoking Beast

In one of God's many demonstrations that we are not always who we like to think we are, and that circumstance often matters more than principle, I became a smoker in a bar tonight. Not only that, but I smoked a freaking cigar. So, take my post of earlier this very day, and put it into context.

But, the fact remains, I was an asshole. Even though Harry's Bar and Tables had open windows, and the bar even sells cigars, so it wasn't like I was out of line, I managed to spread stink into the lives of others. Whatever pleasure I gained from the fine cigar I smoked could not have outweighed the disgust I forced onto the other people in the bar.

XO commented earlier today "What it really boils down to is non-smokers don't like the smell and they think they are better and smarter than smokers and want to impose their will on smokers to prove a point." Wrong.

Nonsmokers don't like the smell. Period. Some of us are smarter and better than smokers, but some of us aren't. But nonsmokers don't want to impose anything on smokers - we just don't want your smoke imposed on us.

Non-Smoking Bars

Hip Suburban White Guy, a/k/a Xavier Onassis, is a little cranky because he's giving up smoking. Actually, he's almost always a little cranky, so maybe it would be better to describe him as highly cranky.

In his supreme crankiness, he has decided to lash out at Lee's Summit for unanimously approving a smoking ban in public places, claiming that they should also ban cyclists (please go read his post if you want to try to follow the logic). Normally, I'd just sit back and enjoy the spectacle of a guy from Liberty attacking Lee's Summit, and dragging in cyclists. Intra-suburban rivalry with spandex-clad freaks! What could be more fun?

Alas, though, I must voice my disapproval of XO's disapproval. Smoking bans are the greatest thing for society since draft beer.

My last two pleasure trips have been to New York City and Minneapolis/St. Paul. Both places have vibrant night-lives that put Liberty and Lee's Summit to shame. In both places, we had the dawning realization that one of the reasons we were able to enjoy ourselves more fully in bars was that we weren't being smothered in second-hand smoke.

On Monday, I had a nice lunch at Harry's Country Club, and two women sat at a nearby table and lit up after finishing their meals. Inconsiderate twits!

Some people view the public smoking issue as a public health issue. I suppose that's valid, but I sincerely don't think I should be criticizing anybody's health choices as I shovel Harry's meat loaf into my maw. For me, it's a quality of life issue. My quality of life. Your right to enjoy a smoke in a public place ends where it starts impinging on my nose. If Shook Hardy allows Big Tobacco to market a smokeless cigarette that won't stink up the bars and restaurants, I'll happily pass you an ashtray. But, until then, I support smoking bans 1000%, and hope they are soon in force metro-wide.

How to Know Your Life is Worthless

I've never been a big fan of Boy George, and I think his recent conviction is shameful evidence of a sick soul. He has sunk awfully low in life.

That said, Boy George is a tower of personal strength and dignity compared to the press who mobbed him as he swept trash as his court-ordered community service. If your job is to take photographs of Boy George sweeping trash, you've made some disastrous choices in your life. You are lower than the lowest should be.

Connecticut - It Was About Me and My Mood

I managed to resist the urge to write a strong post about the Lieberman/Lamont race detailing where I stand and the many reasons that the only righteous vote would be for the candidate I supported. Somehow, I did not heed the call to weigh in with all my expertise on Connecticut, Lieberman and Lamnot. Even though the public was clamoring for Gonemild's pronouncements on what to think, I remained silent.

The way I looked at it, the race was a primary battle between a millionaire political novice and an incumbent who had consistently voted against the positions of his constituents. Personally, I thought the constituents were in the best position to decide which candidate would be better. While I had a mild preference for which candidate I hoped would win, it really didn't seem to be my business. Connecticut is one of only 8 or so states I have never set foot in, and I've never met Lieberman or Lamont. I was content to trust the process, and not use my power to determine the result by a blog endorsement or even a yard sign.

Boy, was I mistaken! This may be my greatest failure of political insight ever. I am ashamed of my lack of understanding, and stand ready to turn in my credentials to the pundit accrediting agency.

This was not a race about two Democratic primary candidates in the nutmeg state - not at all! This was about not only the future of the Democratic party, but my mood, and the moods of those I know and love! Here, I thought it was none of my business, but now I find out that I am angry, seethingly angry, unhingedly (is that a word?) angry, moonbat angry!

The corporate media, backed by their rightwing chorus of talking-point blogs, have declared that this was a national referendum on the soul of the Democrats. The fact that Connecticut chose a candidate who represents their views rather than an incumbent who does not means, according to a voice propagated by the Kansas City Star this morning, that "Bush drives many dems to distraction. They hate, hate, hate him. Their rage begins with Iraq, but spills over into and and all topics."

I didn't realize it, but I guess he must be right. I am red-faced, spitting-mad, kicking the dog and slamming car doors. I can hardly catch my breath because I hate Bush so much! My loathing is so intense that Connecticut voters picked up on my rage and supported someone who represents their views! Rather than meeting the candidates, listening to them and then blandly voting for the incumbent, as the Beltway dictates they must, they felt my pulse of red-hot anti-Bush anger and voted against an incumbent.

Fortunately, those compassionate conservatives are there to help us. They are working hard to calm us down, before we hurt ourselves or someone they think we should love. Goodwin assures us that the "Democratic grownups" (presumably, those who live and work in the beltway) "will stop the madness before Dean buries them all." Those foolish, unsophisticated Connecticut hicks who voted for Lamont are getting advice from all kinds of rightwingers, telling them how progressives should vote, and chiding them for failing to be conservative. How helpful of them!

I thought that the Connecticut primary was about a contest between a millionaire political new-comer and an incumbent who lost Democratic support by opposing Democratic policies and by literally giving Bush a sloppy kiss on TV. For once in my life, I failed at being sufficiently solipsistic. It turns out that it was about me and my mood after all.

World Trade Center - What Nicolas Cage did During the Attack

Went and saw World Trade Center this weekend. I went in with some trepidation about whether the scenes of destruction would be too overwhelming, or whether the political notes sounded by Oliver Stone would be too sour.

Walking out, I felt like I had seen a buddy picture about guys trapped in a cave of rubble. If anything, the movie was so totally devoid of genuine emotion that it failed its subject matter. The movie could have been about the rescue of two noble spelunkers. It dodged the hurt and confusion of the day, and focused in on a mildly inspiring story of two indisputably good guys who managed to survive it through good luck. It even ignored the deaths of the other policemen who rushed in to try to help.

The movie World Trade Center is kind of like a film about the guy playing shortstop when Babe Ruth called his shot, or about the horse that came in fifth or seventh when Secretariat won the Triple Crown. A mildly interesting story is not made better because it is set in one of the most dramatic moments of our young century.

Go rent Valley Girl or Raising Arizona if you like Nicolas Cage. If you want to see a good movie about the events of September 11, you'd better wait a decade or so.

Why I Don't Fear Islam

I don't need to provide examples of the many people who are fearful of Islam. They mock it by calling it a "religion of peace' as they list atrocities attributed to its adherents. They are convinced that a huge population of violent people wants us - you, me, and everyone we know - dead, and that they won't sleep until they have been successful. They are raising little children and filling them full of hate, in the fervent hope that those children will bring honor by strapping on a vest packed with shrapnel and explosives, or, praise Allah, that little Johnnie will grow up to take down an airline of screaming infidels.

Idiots who believe that bullshit are frightened fools, poisoned by fear-mongering propaganda and unable or unwilling to administer the best antidote, which is knowledge of human nature.

Why are Americans so convinced that Muslims are better at being Muslims than Christians are at being Christians? Assume, for the sake of argument, that the Koran really, truly does direct that violence against non-Muslims is justified. (I am no scholar of Islam, though I have read excerpts from the Koran, and I personally don't believe that the religion of Islam condones such violence, but I'll go along with the more rabid pseudo-scholars here in the US.) Then, look at what the New Testament directs. Look at what the Old Testament directs. While we're coveting each others' asses, and failing to live up to scripture every single day, sinning in every imaginable way, we somehow assume that a significant majority of Muslims are willing and able to live up to their faith in a way we never have.

Didn't Jesus suggest that we should sell all we own to enter the kingdom of God? Did you see any such garage sales this weekend? Didn't God direct that we should honor our mother and father? Did you call home this weekend? Didn't God tell us not to honor false Gods? Don't a lot of Christians place blind faith in their President, trusting that he and the NSA, not God, will deliver us from evil?

I would strongly suggest that the fearful among us think about what they know. Religious zealots, be they abortion-clinic-bombing Christians, assassination-supporting Christians, Islamist decapitators or airline-bombing Islamists, are rare, sick people. The fact that we still tolerate Pat Robertson in our midst may give us some perspective on why the peaceful vast majority of Muslims tolerate some of the insane radicals in their midst.

People are people. We want our children to grow up happy, and to have a better life than we had. Whether your child is named Muhammad or Lisa, you love them and want them to get happily married some day and bring you smiling grandchildren. We listen to what the Bible tells us, but we don't really follow the hard parts - we interpret them into metaphorical mush, so we don't have to sell our stuff or love that homeless creepy guy on the corner as ourselves.

Do you really think that Muslims are that much better than we are? Until you're a good Christian, I don't think you need to worry about good Muslims.

Be Nice to Our Friends On the Right - They are Frightened, and Near Snapping Point

It's been an awful week for a lot of rightwingers. Early in the week, they saw fascism rise ascendant on our own shores, as their favorite Democrat was rejected by a majority of Democrats, causing those rightwingers to expose their love of all things Democratic and profess concern for the health of the Democrats. It must have been kind of wrenching for them to shift from labelling Democrats as traitors and terrorist-supporters to expressing shock and concern that we somehow differ from them on matters of policy.

Then, of course, we had the exposure of a terrorist plot involving the British. Tony Blair has been one of Bush's favorite sycophants, and it came as a big surprise to the right wing that Bush's optional war has created enemies for us in a "civilized" country (I know, I know, as an Irishman, that the British have shown themselves to be no more civilized than al Qaeda, but I'm trying to explain how shocking this all is for the WASPs among us).

This is all very confusing for our right wing friends. Even the most virulent anti-Muslim, nuke-them-till-the-sand-turns-to-glass, militaristic chicken hawk is going to have a problem advocating military action against a country filled with anglo-saxon tea-drinkers. And if immediate military action is not the answer, OMG, that requires "Something Else". "Something Else", on the rightwing spy decoder ring, is the same thing as "Weak-Kneed Appeasement".

The smarter rightwingers are going to be satisfied by the fact that the British government actually foiled the plot, and so, perhaps, military action against them is not warranted. Two problems here, though. First, Iraq opposed the "terrorist camps" that we now use as reason #328 for invading that country, but we protected them in the no-fly zone. So, really, that excuse won't fly. Second, the Brits did it the wrong way! Those anti-American, pro-terrorist assholes actually went ahead and conducted their investigation within the law!! They went ahead and got warrants for their wiretaps, and failed to abandon the rule of law! Limey bastards!

So, clear-thinking rightwingers should want to bomb England for hosting the Shampoo Crew the way that Israel bombed Lebanon for hosting the Hezbollah, but somehow it is different when the collateral damage would be mostly white people who speak our language.

Last night, I received the following email from a rightwing lawyer in St. Louis, with the panicked subject line, in all-caps "WAKE UP AMERICA". I swear on a stack of Bibles this is the entire message, with only his identifying information deleted (the poor guy is suffering enough):

For those of you on the list who don't think we need the Patriot Act or other proactive measures to protect ourselves, read the attached article. Remember, our enemy is within our borders and they want YOU dead.

http://www.wnem.com/Global/story.asp?S=5269589

The link he provides is about 3 guys who got caught buying cell phones for profitable resale, but that is all this rightwinger needed to fall into 100% panic, alert-your-neighbors, surrender-your-civil-liberties, save-me-save-me-Oh-God-please-save-me mode.

Earlier in the day, a libertarian lawyer in Columbia, Missouri, told me that he is willing to trust the government to intercept all communications between private citizens and to limit themselves to searching for terrorists. A libertarian calling for Big Brother.

I've poked a little fun at the right wing in this post, but, quite seriously, I feel sorry for a lot of people on the right. Bush's optional war is developing enemies who would attack us from London. Democrats are not meekly supporting pro-Bush candidates. It's alll very scary for them. I don't envy them at all. They need to reexamine what they've been advocating, and that is going to be a very painful process.

Charlie Wheeler - Threatening Lives Now??

From today's Kansas City Star:

Wheeler said it would be wrong to write him off now.

“Politics is an interesting business because prominent people get hit by trains and automobiles from time to time and a vacancy appears that is filled in short order,” he said. “I will see if any great political opportunity comes up.”

Where I come from, that's a threat. While the Star doesn't provide what he said next, I figure it was something along the lines of, "I understand Sanders has a family. It sure would be sad if something happened to them. I'm just sayin' . . ."

Yard of Power

For the first time EVER, I have three successful yard signs up, and no losers! I kicked the CCP's ass. I kicked the Star's ass. And the fact that I knew how many signs there were and what they said means I kicked the Kansas City Election Board's Diebold-trusting ass, too.

On a less pleasant note, I feel thoroughly guilty about the schadenfreude I experienced while watching Charlie Wheeler twitch and turn red while refusing to admit to Michael Mahoney that Sanders had won. "Who's your mathemetician? What's his name?" Hahahahahahahaha. Sexist bully.

I didn't even have a Sanders sign. That was the cherry on the sundae, though.

The End of the Primary Season

If you're in Missouri, and you haven't voted today, please make sure you do so. It'a a big ballot today in Kansas City, with lots of questions and candidates. Here are a few points to keep in mind on your way to the ballot:

* Wheeler has shown himself to be the corrupt, unpleasant bastard I told you he is. Vote for Sanders.

* Jolie Justus has run a classy campaign - Klumb's backers went negative after whining about those of us who looked at his track record and found it disturbing.

* Scott Burnett has run his race with the same competence and kindness that typifies his public service. His opponent - who the Star wants in because of a blind anti-incombent bias - has been running the same old nasty crap that has typified county government for years. Scott is the fresh air, not his opponent.

* Term limits are a simple-minded, anti-democratic method of shifting power away from voters and to the power-brokers. Vote against them.

* The Star has been a complete disappointment, both in its endorsements and in its pusillanimous noncoverage of some of the more interesting campaign hijinks of the season, such as the coercion surrounding Messerli's position on the Wheeler-Sanders race, and on the Freedom, Inc.'s sale of its endorsement.

* Vote for the State Parks tax.

Trip Through the Upper Midwest

I spent the past several days driving to Minneapolis and back. You'd think that so many hours in the car alone with your thoughts would generate some dynamite blog posts - ruminative, fresh-thinking bursts of perspective on meaty topics.

Not so much.

Instead, here are a few quick thoughts:

1. Don't eat near the highway. We stopped at a coffee shop in Lamoni, Iowa, and had lunch at the Royal Cafe in Story City, Iowa. Both beat the hell out of what we could have picked up at McDonald's or some franchised truck stop. In both cases, the towns were a mile or two off the highway, but worth the drive. All I could eat home-made chicken and noodles were worth the risk of venturing into town, even if I was disappointed by fact they were out of Norwegian shortcake.

2. Missouri highways are better than the highways in Iowa or Minnesota.

3. Ames, Iowa, is not an attractive college town.

4. If you eat brunch at Hell's Kitchen in downtown Minneapolis, you can make it all the way home without eating again. Nothing says "home-cooking" like going out to Waldo Pizza.

5. If you turned your air-conditioning off on Friday morning, your house would be 94 degrees when you got back on Sunday evening. And evey object in the house would radiate heat until late in the evening.

6. It's great to see old friends.

7. Sam's play was great, and the Bryant Lake Bowl was a funky place to see it.

Ticket-taker, We Hardly Knew Ye

The tall, elderly gentleman who took tickets at the Tivoli Theatre died on Tuesday.

His name was Bob Smith. I didn't know that.

He was a top model in Paris in the 60s and 70s, and was photographed by Richard Avedon, Jerry Schatzberg and Helmut Newton. I didn't know that.

He was raised by 6 aunts, and gave up his glamorous modeling career to take care of them when they needed him. I had no idea.

To me, he was just a ticket-taker. I missed all that. What else are we all missing in the people we barely see?

Talent & Mo. Republicans - Learning from Fred Phelps

Jim Talent and the Missouri Republicans have allowed their hatred and zealotry to overcome even the minimal standards we expect them to live by. On Saturday, Melissa Berridge died in a plane crash. On Tuesday, Jim Talent and the Missouri Republicans unleashed their attack dogs, falsely accusing her of incompetence, and refusing to apologize to her family when they were proven wrong. Fred Phelps would be proud of their twisted attempts to disrespect the dead.

This is one of those issues that means nothing, yet shows everything. Talent and the Missouri Republican party mistakenly thought they had a "gotcha" issue to poke at the McCaskill campaign, and they probably didn't even think about the fact that the person who was supposed to have filed the report had died over the weekend. Even I, with my justifiable contempt for Jim Talent and his handlers, don't really believe that they thought it was a good idea to attack a dead young woman.

But, when they learned that their attack was not only wrong (she had priority-mailed the report, early, to the correct address), but also of a Fred Phelps level of cruelty and disrespect, what did they do?

They continued their attack. Talent refused to apologize, and Missouri Republican Party spokesman Paul Sloca unleashed another baseless and heartless attack. Even when the brother of the dead young woman asked them to stop the attacks, they said they would "take it under advisement". "Take it under advisement"?!?! What kind of people are they??

The give and take about the filing of the report is just more of the normal nonsense that captivates the political class during an election cycle. Even if it were a day late, nobody except a few insiders would care, and absolutely nobody would change his or her vote because of it. To be even-handed, McCaskill's campaign would probably have issued a similar press release if Talent's campaign had a problem getting a report filed. It's what political staffers do to pass the time and feel important.

But somebody died on Saturday. Melissa Berridge had her life cut short. Her family will never hear her voice again. Her friends won't have an opportunity to laugh with her again. Her hopes and dreams vanished in a plane crash.

Good people would be jolted out of their work-a-day worlds by the death of a colleague. But not Jim Talent and the Missouri Republicans. Like Fred Phelps, they took the opportunity to make it worse for the family.

Some things should not be spun for political gain.